In the world of travel, it is always said that traveling alone is a marvel.
It is your opportunity to open your mind, discover other cultures and see that reality is not many times as they tell us; but … above all, it is an incredible opportunity to know yourself. If you want to know more about how you can change your life to dare to travel alone, read this post about what are for me the best advantages of traveling alone.
However, you know I’ve been almost 2 years (March 9, 2016 was when we started) going around the world with Cris. Two years in which we have traveled to 52 countries and have worked hand in hand with Travel Intelligence. Each one in his own, but always as a team.
That’s why, to the initial experience that Mónica told you about, from the Coaching Viajero blog, now I want to add ours. Enter the myths and realities that exist on this subject, as well as all the benefits of traveling as a couple.
Note: from now on you will read the story of Monica and Sergio, but at specific moments I will add how we have experienced that situation.
Trips as a couple: myths and realities of sharing the route with another person
Many people are afraid to take a trip with their partner; That is why we are usually asked questions like:
- Is not it better to travel alone?
- Are not you afraid of getting bored with being 24 hours a day, day after day?
- Traveling with a partner is always cheaper?
I put you in context before continuing.
Sergio and I have been together for 15 years. We have made romantic trips as a couple, the typical getaways, but now we like to make longer trips and stay longer in each place. We sure that matching couple outfits can make you all have a great journey with partner.
From the beginning, traveling was something that united us, something we both enjoyed more than anything and that has taught us many things to each other.
After so much time together and so many trips, we have a master’s degree in traveling as a couple. As in everything, there are its good and bad moments. We always keep the good ones, but there are also complicated situations and we think it’s good to count them.
That’s why today I want to tell you the myths and realities that surround to travel as a couple if our experience helps you see if this form of travel is the best for you.
Go for it.
1. Travel with your best friend. REALITY
For me, “your best friend” is the one with whom you have fun and enjoy spending time.
- With which you have total confidence.
- You can be totally honest.
- Say what you think at every moment without taking it wrong (and if you do not like what you hear, things are spoken quietly to reach an agreement).
Therefore, traveling with him is the best thing that could happen to you .
For me, Sergio is my best friend before my boy, partner, boyfriend or whatever you want to call him. But we are also joined by a special love that makes our relationship complete and easy to travel with.
We know each other very well, we have many things in common, we have lived a lot together, and a moment has arrived, in which it is not necessary to tell us things to know what is happening. As bad as we are, a day without laughter in our lives is impossible.
Do not get confused, even so not everything is wonderful.
Something may happen that fucks you the day, that you are tired of being from one place to another and need a bit of tranquility, or simply that you do not have the best of your traveling moments.
And in those moments, having your partner is an advantage because it will make everything more bearable. He will listen to you and encourage you, or he will stay with you if what you prefer is to spend a day resting without going from one place to another.
And most importantly, he will know how to give you your space. We all need it and it is essential if you want to have a healthy relationship. Everyone must respect that the other also needs time to be with himself.
2. You will be able to share all the special moments. REALITY
For us, an important part of traveling is being able to share all those unique moments and live them with the person we love. Talk, laugh and comment on what has just happened to us, get lost in the crowd and discover new places together.
There are many moments that traveling alone you think:
“It would be great to have someone right now to share this moment …”
I know because it has happened to me, and traveling with Sergio that does not happen to me.
He is always by my side to:
- To be able to enjoy with me that landscape that leaves you breathless.
- Live that rush that gives you when you get to a new place.
- Laugh at me when I try a horrible meal that makes my face break down.
You will also share those moments of fearthat arise along the way and you will overcome them together. You will create special bonds among yourselves that you can not forget.
Now I take the witness
I corroborate what Monica is telling you here. In these 2 years the relationship that Cris and I have strengthened a lot. And I assure you, we are very, very different. In most cases we would not act the same, but we always respect each other and try to learn from our differences.
We have grown a lot as people on the trip and, in large part, that is thanks to having shared it together.
I could name you a billion moments; However, I have something much better that will make you see what we have lived around the world: the anniversary video of when we turn a year on the road.
3. You will not open up to meet other people. MYTH
It is said that when you travel alone you are more predisposed and open to meet other people. Well, the truth is that after traveling as a couple as a solo, both Sergio and I consider that this depends a lot on your personality.
If you are open and you like to meet people, you will do the same .
Traveling alone does not mean that you are obliged to relate to any person you cross, as traveling as a couple does not mean that you are not going to do it with anyone else. For us to relate to other people is a basic need.
We believe that it is one of the best things that travel has to know other ways of seeing the world and living that will make your mind open. In this way you learn not to judge others , not to let yourself be guided by appearances and to realize that there are many people in the world who are worthwhile. When we have been traveling for a few days and we have not exchanged a word with anyone other than ourselves, we began to feel the need to talk with other people.
This does not mean that we can not be alone, because we are and we enjoy it equally, they are different things. We love to be both our ball, but we also like to meet people. Everything has its moment, and not only when you travel alone do you know more people, it depends solely on you.
I’m here again
Again I share what Monica says here. It is true that when you travel alone it seems that you are more predisposed, but it is also that people dare to approach you more than if you go as a group (the more people, the less contact with locals there is usually).
We not only love to talk and meet with the people we meet, but we have shared some moments of the trip with other travelers and friends.
Here you see me with Omar de la Fuente and Alfonso Rovira in Thailand.And behind the camera, Cris.
In this other you see us when we toured Vietnam with my friends Choco and Maca.
4. Traveling as a couple is cheaper. MYTH AND REALITY
Are there cheap trips as a couple by definition or are they a myth?
It is clear that sharing expenses is cheaper, but it also depends on how you travel. So far the planes, trains and buses are paid individually, that is, unless you rent a motorcycle where you can both go or a car, you will not save anything. Click here to find out more style for matching couple outfits.
If you are one of those who do not like to share a room with strangers and always take an individual one, then it will be more expensive, since a double room will always be better priced when sharing expenses. But if on the contrary you do not mind sleeping surrounded by other people, you stay using couch surfing or you go with your tent and you dock anywhere , it may even come out cheaper.
Another thing is the issue of renting a house or apartment for a few days, the option to catch it just for you two is much more attractive than sharing a flat, and you’ll save yourself a dough that you just could not do yourself. Regarding food and drink I do not think there are big differences, maybe even if your partner is one of those who eat as if there was not a tomorrow, it would be expensive to pay half.
Luckily this is not our case and we compensate ourselves a lot on the subject of meals.
5. You can always go wherever you want. MYTH
As a general rule, it is usually said:
“Traveling with your partner is great, because you always agree to go where you want.”
That is not always the case, those who travel as a couple know it well, and whoever says otherwise is lying. Maybe we are weird bugs, but we do not always want to go to the same places, eat in the same places, or go exploring the city at the same time.
- Small discussions in which we will have to negotiate what is done in each moment.
- You do not have total freedom to do what you want because you go with another person, you are a team of two and you have to think about the other person, you will not always get away with yours.
The good thing is that you do it out of love, and therefore, the sacrifice is very small.
In many occasions you will have to yield and do something that you do not want, you just have to see the positive side and enjoy with your partner what you are doing. Luckily this is not usual, you will usually want the same things and reaching an agreement will be easy.
About this I want to talk to you about another important topic: the moments that each one needs for himself.
In some moments of the trip I have missed being alone and deciding what to do on the fly. Whether to stay at home or to improvise a plan. The funny thing is that sometimes the same thing happens to Cris and he scolds me because I do not leave him enough privacy.
Last year we separated for the first time because I went to Buenos Aires to give a talk to the DNx while Cris stayed in Sri Lanka. The experience was very cool, but it also helped us to realize how much we missed each other. This was the little face we had when we met again.
6. Sex assured. REALITY
In this there is no discussion. If you travel with your partner, sex is easy, you will have it whenever you feel like it. I think it’s one of the clearest advantages there is . Going alone can also be assured, but it is not the same, as a couple is always more fun.
You will also save yourself a lot of time in finding the right person and may that silly infatuations you did not intend. When you are traveling there are not:
- Incompatibilities of schedules to see you.
- Tired of work.
You only feel freedom and tranquility. Millions of occasions arise for having sex, which in your daily life does not happen due to stress and lack of time.
7. You will learn the virtue of patience. REALITY
Patience will be your great ally, because in times when things go wrong, or you get over it or things will explode. As a general rule, we usually vent or pay our frustrations and anger with the people closest to us (which we should change, because they are not to blame for the bad that happens to us).
But this happens and it is something usual in a trip.
That’s why you have to be understanding, understand the other person and take a deep breath before you start talking. Keep a proper tone is essential, have good words and no shouting.
This is learned over time, after 15 years together and thousands of complicated situations, we have learned that patience and self-control is very important.
Support each other, instead of blaming ourselves and always respect us.
What can I tell you about this?
Well I can assure you that the trip can often put your patience to the test. For example, on our trip to India, I almost got into a mess with some guys for some nonsense. And it is true that when you are angry it is easy to pay with the one you have closer.
For that reason, one of the things that I am most proud of is that in all this time Cris and I have never had a fight so that we have to separate a few hours or days.
Of course there are discussions, face-ups or fights, but we are always able to stop and talk and fix them. No matter who the error is, the important thing is that we both learn together.
8. Traveling as a couple you will not be able to know yourself in the same way as traveling alone. MYTH
I do not agree and I’ll tell you why. I’ve been able to:
- To know myself very much.
- To test myself.
- Discover things about me that I never imagined.
- Make me twice as strong.
Traveling you live limit situations you can go alone or as a couple. Many times being accompanied is not an advantage to overcome these difficulties, since you may also have to pull your partner. The effort and learning will be double.
For us it is essential to have our space, and spend time alone from time to time thinking or doing things that the other person does not want.
I am a crazy woman from the sea and the sunsets. I love to disconnect from the rest of humanity and live those moments, but I do not force Sergio to go with me (he sometimes prefers to stay quiet in a hammock reading or resting). Many times being in the same room everyone is at their own, we are not talking all day or pending each other.
The day has many hours.
We have our traveling independence.
Spending time alone is very important to get to know each other better and it is possible even if you travel as a couple and stay together all day.
There are moments for everything.
9. In time of travel is when more couples separate. MYTH
For me, traveling is something that I love, I enjoy doing it a lot and sharing it with Sergio is the best thing of all. Traveling we have united more, and like us there are thousands
Maybe even a trip is a reunion where you can recover many things that as a couple you had lost and you fall in love again. You will have a lot of time to talk about you, about your projects, to get to know you better.
And I can not think of a better way to do all this than traveling.
Just to separate while on a trip or just around the corner, it only indicates that that person was not the right one for you and that you did not really know it enough, nothing more. Which is a good thing because you will stop wasting time with a person you were not going anywhere with, never better.
“And that’s why it’s not good to work with your partner”
Notice that we not only travel together, but we also work. However, for me all that is not good for a couple to work together is just charlatanism. Many people throw themselves to recommend others about their relationships and, notice how curious, it is usually the ones that have gone wrong.
10. Flexibility and improvisation is only for lonely souls. MYTH
Deciding things at the last moment, changing the route or destination or venturing to know a new place, has nothing to do with traveling alone or accompanied. If the two members of the couple see life as a great opportunity to discover and live experiences from which to learn, flexibility and improvisation will be normal for you.
If there is something that has hooked us to travel, it is the possibility to decide what to do in each moment, go where we want and have nothing fixed or mandatory to do.
We are very flexible people and that does nothing but facilitate the trip as a couple.
My ability to improvise has been accentuated more since I’ve been with Sergio, because he brings me new ideas that I would not think of and vice versa.
Each day of the trip we go out knowing where we want to go, but not where we will end up or with whom, and we love that.
The best and the worst that has happened to us traveling as a couple
After all these years traveling together and having gone through many places, we have passed thousands of good and bad things. That’s why we wanted to tell you that it has been the best and the worst thing that has happened to us as a couple.
For us, the worst moments are discussions (although we soon forget them) and health problems. We had been in India for 4 days, we were in a market in Udaipur, and we had a conversation with a vendor of chai tea who ended up inviting us to one.
After seeing where they washed the glasses and the water they used, we thought it was not a good idea to drink them.
Sergio got lost in the market and got rid of the tea chai but I could not, and because I did not want to make the man ugly, I ended up literally shitting myself in the tea chai.
I spent all that night in the bathroom with vomiting, diarrhea and fever. And Sergio holding me that day and the following because the thing did not stay there and I was super weak. The trip broke down a couple of days when we could not do anything. Who was going to tell him that he would end up taking care of me under those circumstances.
But he did.
If it had not been because he was with me I do not know how he would have done it. A good thing about traveling as a couple: you will always have someone to take care of you when you get bad.
One of the best feelings we have experienced and we discovered together traveling through Southeast Asia was the freedom you feel in countries like Thailand , Laos, or Vietnam; when traveling on your own on a motorcycle. I have to admit that it is Sergio who drives, I still do not control him too much and I have to beat the big milk. With the motorcycle:
- We did not depend on anyone to move around a city.
- We were able to get to places that were not touristy and really live with the population there.
- There were no schedules or plans, we just took the bike and got lost with it. It is a unique feeling.
Since then, in all the countries where we go and we can rent one, for us it has become the best way to discover and know a place.
And here goes our own ranking.
What has not altered anything …
But we must admit that we have always had the good fortune that everything remained in a fright. Yes, I mean health.
I leave you samples of some of those less good moments.
In Taiwan, what looked like a normal belly pain turned into an appendicitis and a step in the operating room.
And here you see the luxury suite we took in Chiang Mai for a virus. The thing does not end there, I was bitten by a dog, Cris a bug made an incredible wound and we have been through a flu that left us with the 2 shelves several days with fever.
In these cases is when you realize how important it is to have insurance that responds to you. We travel from the beginning with Iati Seguros.
Those moments that make up for everything and that are unquantifiable
Since the trip started, we have experienced impressive moments. So much for the surprises that the road has given us, as for seeing that all efforts to grow Travel Intelligence paid off. There have been times when we have reached the summit, while in others we hit some reality slap.
But that is the best thing: everything that we have found we have faced together.
That’s why, from this trip as a couple I’m left with this picture.
In the post you have seen how Monica and Sergio and we live traveling as a couple. However, this is our experience and this does not mean that it will work for you. You will have to find your own formula or way.
That’s why I want to leave you the stories of other traveling couples
What do you think? Do you have any myth or reality about traveling as a couple?
After all these myths and realities, our conclusion is that there is no perfect way to travel. There will always be something that fails, but you must find a balance, and ours about traveling is to do it as a couple.
The good moments far outweigh the bad ones, and for us it is the most complete and happy way. Maybe at this time you do not have a partner or do not want to travel with you, from here I encourage you to do it alone, that nothing prevents you from doing what you want and be happy.
The important thing is to travel, not how you do it.
That the age, the company, the money or the fears are not an excuse for not doing it.
Now it’s your turn. Do you have any special fear about traveling as a couple? What are your best and worst moments traveling as a couple?